water woman

A beautiful man that I am very close with, recently said this to me.

“Be careful your female-centric life focus doesn’t blind you to the fact that physical/biological sex doesn’t matter really. Our souls are neither male nor female.”

I sat with this statement to look at it from every angle. From his angle, my angle, from a global angle as it floored me to have someone that knows me so well feel that it was important for me to be cautioned. This is my personal reply. This is not a commentary about atrocities against women on a global scale through history. It is not that, because it could equally be about the atrocities of the deep masculine spirit that is not given permission. This is s simple reflection on life through the lens of my female-centric-soul.


Firstly, female is a sex. Currently females make up 52% of the human population, and a larger or smaller proportion of most other species on this planet. Centric means to have as a central position or to have as centre. Globally, wars have been fought, laws passed and ignored, violence and peace expressed because of our sexes.

Soul is described by many prophets, sages, and Wikipedia in differing ways, so I can only personalise what soul means to me; soul is an energetic expression of me that does not take physical form, though the results or its expression can take physical form. It is like an essence that has a particular flavour that is timeless, yet ever fluid and revealing and calls to be true to itself.


My Incarnated Soul

My Soul arrived into this incarnation as a female this time around. More specifically, I came to experience life as a white female with brown eyes and brown hair, in a middle class upbringing in an affluent and lucky country. My being born as a girl did not go unnoticed by me or by others.

I was educated and still hold education as a high value in my life as I self educate constantly. Many women are not so lucky as me and are refused education because of their sex.

My views are far bigger than my upbringing and yet cannot be uninfluenced by all that my upbringing contained. I am also as ignorant as the next in all the ways of the world and do not pretend to be an expert in any one thing.

A female-centric-soul shopping list of experiences

  • I was molested at a very young age by an uncle
  • I loved rollerskating and Ballerina Barbie, things that sparkled, and dancing around the lounge room to Abba. I longed for a tutu.
  • My dad went to America when I was a little girl and brought me back a Princess Leia Barbie doll with the buns on the side of her head. Best present ever.
  • I was teased for riding a dirt bike and not a girls bike.
  • I was told at the tender age of 12 by my male dance teacher that if I wanted to be a professional dancer, I would need to go on a diet. One lettuce a week was the suggested diet. Photos of me at that age reveal a slender girl with strong dancer’s legs. That comment killed a dream.
  • I read Nancy Drew books
  • I was told that to go to secretarial school would be a good back up plan for a girl.
  • Like one out of three women, I was raped, in broad daylight, with my screams for help ignored by a male passer by.
  • I have spent over 25 years doing shadow work to heal the pain in my soul from such things.
  • I punched a boy that was harassing me because my Dad taught me self defence, the boy never harassed me again.
  • I was told I looked like a lesbian when I cut my long hair short and grew my armpit hair.
  • I was told I was promiscuous. Have never heard a guy get called that.
  • I miscarried, aborted and birthed my babies against the cry for hospitalisation of what was once a natural rite of passage.
  • I had the privilege of carrying two children to full term and birthed as one of the greatest creative undertakings of my life. I re-birthed myself each time.
  • I have been a ‘good’ wife and a ‘good’ mother with its own interesting payoff.
  • I have spent more than 5 years of my life breast feeding as a womanly art.
  • I have spent my entire sexual life considering weather I want to fall pregnant or not and at a young age was told my only option was the pill.
  • I have experienced work place sexual harassment and have had promotions given to male counterparts with less experience. I sued and won and walked away.
  • I have experienced the delight of having girlfriends, and being at the birth of my niece and god daughter.
  • I get to be the girl in the love relationships with men. I think I won the prize because I get to multi-orgasm much easier than a man.
  • I have given up careers because it didn’t make as much money as my husband’s.
  • I have been asked to wear a scarf over my head and shoulders in religious temples.
  • I was told to wear a swimming top at the beach by bare chested male lifeguard.
  • I have been ogled for breast feeding my babies in public.
  • I have had men stand up and offer me their seat and carry me when I was injured and opened car doors.
  • I have had men play with my long hair and admire my curves and smell my perfume and get giddy and happy from my being-ness.
  • I value my intuition over logic anyday of the week.
  • I bleed about 14 times a year.

This is a female-centric-soul life that I live as a mother, daughter, sister, aunty, girlfriend, and lover. This is my incarnation, it is not malleable, it is done. When I choose to see the world more and more through the eyes of my womb, my feline animal, my intuition, I come into more harmony, like a coming home. This way of living was not naturally taught to me by my mother and schooling system. It is a way of being that I have had to re-arrive at after thousands of years of it being in the wilderness and the underground. A lot has had to fall away for me to find my way here.

“One day you finally knew, what you had to do…..

determined to do the one thing you could do,

determined to save the one life you could save”

– Mary Oliver {snippet from The Journey}



Me and Male-Centric-Souls

I rejoice men more from my honoured female-centric-soul’s vantage point. I fall in love with them more from my heart and my womb, more than I ever could from a masculine orientation, which I was raised and trained in, that just creates hardening. I am open to being more deeply loved and received by men when I reside in my womb. I get to gift men and be an inspiration to women alike from my sensuality and my sexuality. Sex is more intimate when I am fully embodied as a woman. I use my luna cycle as a productivity tool.

I care more deeply about myself when I include my root and my essence and not ignore it or deny it. I am more effective, more creative, more loving, more surrendering from this pair of moccasins. I have walked a million miles in denial of that which is obvious, in a fight with my very nature. I shrunk, I was small and precarious in my steps. I was careful in the sense that I was cautious of my own vastness and cautions of life’s inadequacies in keeping this ‘weaker sex’ safe.

I also live a Mother-Centric life as I raise two boys. Not two daughters, but two sons. This duality of my motherhood experience makes being female-centric as important to their growth into manhood as it is for my growth into deeper womanhood.



Sandy grease photo 340

What Sandy from Grease taught me about being careful

You know in the movie Grease the character Sandy. She is sweet and innocent and loved by all. She is all female. She goes on a journey to discover what she does and does not want and value in her life and she comes to a cross road where she is ready to step from princess to queen. From sweet to full bodied.

Now I know that there are people {mainly women} that suggest that the last scene of Grease is one of over sexualisation and of packaging to get a man. I don’t really participate in that type of thinking. I see Sandy as liberating and playing with other flavours of her feminine nature and empowering herself in the process to go for what she wants instead of wait in wishful thinking. She is feisty, she wields her sex to invigorate and conger. She has stopped being careful. This is an ancient theme of goddesses that transform from sweet to fiery to create change.

Like Sandy, I am done with being careful. I stride barefoot with toe rings and bells without an inch of apology. I swim topless, have never worn a bra, hate stockings and lipstick, make my own money, refuse to wear a uniform. I ask for assistance from strong men, speak my mind, watch where I coral myself, live from my intuition and my womb. I do not adhere to the philosophy of reaching goals to strive for success like the masculine nature does. I do not see humanity being served when we neutralise ourselves and become vanilla. My life is paramountly different since choosing to fully own and engage in my female soul and living from the centre of that experience.

I desire juicy experiences, powerful lovers, the healing balm of sisterhood. I do not have ‘too much’ roar, as it was suggested by another male friend who wanted compliance more than genuine honest friendship. I will not be shhhhhhhed. I have the roar that was put in my body for the times when passion needs to be expressed through my voice in that tone. I can be an angel or a lioness and a hundred other hues. I have a song to sing and it is with my feminine voice, deep and sweet that I sing it.

Female-Centric-Soul is my job description, this incarnation around, it is not something that I can afford to be careful about. It is a full bodied undertaking that I value and have fallen in love with.


music video

Superwoman – Alica Keys

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