Regret makes a weary warrior

It carves out caverns inside

That echo longings that will never be done

It wishes with candles already blown out

It makes a ghost of this day and the next


You hurt people and you cannot take it back.

We cannot get any of it back

Not one tiny drop

Because life only goes in a forward motion

No matter how hard you strive

To make a time machine of your work

It is lost, like it never happened

Like a mirage in the dry sand

Lost like the jumper you left in the school yard


Your self was harmed by its own hand

Every time you pushed the pain down

like a rock in the deep end of the pool

Deep – end – of – the – pool.

Look up from your watery cave

Hear you heart beat, hear your breath,

People walk on by

No chit chat that makes your skin crawl and your brow sweat

It becomes very quiet under surface

Sometimes peaceful, other times maddening.


You were hurt by another a 100 times before

A long line of girls with swords and boys with guns

A domino of hurts all cascading

Clink, clink, clink

they fall

One memory after another, unrelenting, never giving up

Never surrendering with all the ways you did it wrong,

with all the ways you cannot get it right.

It is exhausting and unstoppable.


This mind is a twig, ready to snap,

Ready to devour with a snakes tongue

Wondering which story it can rerun with an alternate ending.

But the reel keeps spinning ever onwards till the credits roll.

We are all but flesh and spirit

we wound each other non stop from birth to death

we scathe ourselves with unkindness

we nock the top off our own healing

we hang ourselves out to dry


And If we are by some bolt of lightning lucky enough

we love and are loved more fiercely.


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