Did you see the Red Table Talk on Polyamory?
I love that this topic is being discussed more openly.
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What I love about the WHOLE conversation about relationship dynamics, shapes and agreements is that whatever individuals choose for themselves and with one another creates such a more authentic relating space.
Your relationship does not have to fit the conventional ideas of polyamory either. I prefer the terminology of consensual open relating.
For me relationships are a beautiful and powerful opporuity to be transparent, seen and recieved in your DESIRE. I think telling the truth about desire and including it in your relationship as something that gets to absolutely be included, is essential for the health and care of myself and the other/s I am in relationship with.
Having the right to speak opening and honestly about my DESIRE with those I am in relationship with is crucial for my spirit.
I am no longer available to be in any relationship where my desire, my needs, my wants, my curiosities, my opinions, my inquiries are not afforded space, time and consideration in the relationship.
In the end I always get what I want because I am always at choice as to what I agree to, what I want that is more important than other things or experiences I want. I live by the code of hierarchy of desire.
I have created the most potent opportunity for myself since becoming uncompromising about my right to fully show up and engage in my life and having my love life be an extension of that expression.
I can’t believe the low level assumptions of what relationships / love / marriage had to look like that I was born and raised into believing was the go for and the qualifier of my investment.
And I am shocked at how little I believed my relationships could afford of me being allowed to evolve and be included.
It is as though we are predominately taught { and I know this to be so true for women in our desire being still seen as a sin } that the relationship takes the priority over ourselves.
We are taught to give up too much of ourselves to continue to breath life into the relationship when the relationship structure is sucking the life out of our spirit and our ability to be fully radiant as a response to our investment.
At least this is what I was sold the story of.
And I know from being with and around women for my whole life that this is true for so many women.
We are sold a too small story of what to expect our relationships to be able to offer back to us. So we shrink.
In the past week I have heard of two stories of infidelity in relationships. Infidelity is survivable and even thrive-able beyond, but fuck it is so crushing and costs so much.
I always think, wow, how un-brave of that person in not telling the truth, in not being willing to risk the relationship for their own truth. How selfish to have your cake and eat it at the expense of the person you say you care for. It is not an act of love at all. It is a total take and it undermines the wellbeing of the other person you have agreements with.
Best to have a relationship that can afford to include the conversation. At minimum the conversation. Giving everyone the opportunity to make a decision that is in their own care.
So I am not saying that Polyamory works for everyone, but honesty and being in a relationship with ourselves where we agree to always communicate our truth and be in relationship with people who want to hear your truth.
Something else I want to share on this topic at this time. I have seen some fucking toxic, selfish and cruel people using polyamory as a stomping ground for abuse.
However these same people would be like that in a monogamous relationship and would more likely be in a non-consensual monogamous relationship; meaning probably having affairs and then also gaslighting their unwitting partner when their intuition caught on.
Disingenuous people will use any structure { polyamorous, monogamy, other } to play out their lack of care and their desire to take take take.
At the end of it all, it comes down to being an inquiry into..
HOW MUCH WILL I LET MYSELF BE REAL AND OPEN AND HONEST IN MY RELATING?
HOW MUCH OF MYSELF WILL I LET MYSELF BE INCLUDED AND SEEN AND MET IN MY RELATIONSHIPS?
AM I WILLING TO RISK THE RELATIONSHIP FOR MY OWN HEALTH AND WELLBEING?
What are your thoughts, experiences about this?
If you have any questions for me or in general, I am happy to speak openly about this topic as it is very near and dear to me that we create healthy and flourishing relating.
Much Love 
Lotus
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