This Weight

This Weight
I feel the weight of this love
this thing that we are doing to each other
as it pins me against my desire
to charge from the gate, dusk flying.

I feel the gravity of my own mortal heart
as it pumps blood to all the organs that ache,
the rhythm of it speeding and slowing,
breathing me to stillness, the centre of me and other things.

The earth slows its spin and loosens me
floating…… floating high above, weightless.
The vista of all this pain that we do to each other,
rivers of violence and blood beyond
what my eyes can bear witness to.
our humanity that falls to its knees,
as I fall to my knees for this humanity.

I feel the weight of this love
as my baby turns another year older,
leaving my side ever more every day.
and find myself just as I was before
though older and so vastly changed,
by the weight of this love.

Cells of stardust, vapour and flesh,
dismembered to my divine self.
objectified for milk money and fear.
a centrefold with a bind down the middle,
as you flip from war to sports and fast cars.

I feel the weight of this love,
as you stroke my cheek with your finger tips.
such care that burns all my unworthy places
unable to hide from your seeing the entirety of me in one glimpse
and staying longer for the wanting of it,
though my feet betray me with their walking out again.

Under this weight I can feel my ribs
with lungs that can’t breathe and still breathe
because there is this love that we do to one another
that pins us against our desire
to charge at the gate, dusk flying

– Lotus Indigo Shakti